Posted by D.Bernhardt on March 21, 2003
Raymond ChapmanGot back late last night from California...and realised i hadnt yet put down a few thoughts about these trying last 2 weeks. As was mentioned earlier quite a number gathered at the Manhattan Brewing Company to view some of the Bosses finest gold work. Some (including me) were fortunate enuf to have a guided tour of the processes Rick used to complete these wonderful works courtesy of David Trujilo who worked at Fine Gold for 13 or so years and was present and contributed to some of these pieces. This adventure was very much the kind of tribute the Boss would have liked and the conversation was always about Rick and Lola, their contribution to the industry and the lives of others. Thanks Dave T. Im sure Im not alone in saying i was not myself and ask for my friends understanding. I felt very much that things had changed dramatically for our business. There will be no more conclaves and the Rick as mother hen...gathering all under his wing, an oasis of creativity, is no more. Sad isn,t it.
A few personnal notes here from someone who knew him better than some...not as well as others. Please beware, i,m not as eloquent as Ray or Mike but I,ll do my best.
When i got the news that Monday, life in the shop just stopped. Disbelief and shock set in...waiting to hear this was all one big mistake...it just wasn,t possible. In the following days i waited to hear any news from friends in CA and the truth and ramifications were beginning to sink in. I was glued to the bulletin boards and the telephone waiting and waiting. I sort of pattered about the shop...going from one room to another,forgetting what i,d gone there for and really couldn,t get a thing done.
Arriving in LA at night, there was a good sized rain storm underway and was met at the airport by good friends John Studden and Dave Smith. Cell phones ringing and everyone was staying in touch. Next day off to the wake. On the way was a stop at Fine Gold...no more the open and welcoming haven. It had transformed. It all begins to sink in...i knew almost everyone there (it must be true) friends and his family i hadn,t met, all of whom bore an uncanny resemblance to the Boss. Some of his tools were on display outside the >viewing> room and included a favourite tourtoise shell brush which several years earlier he had given me a long and detailed explanation for.(it was real) I didn,t go into the >viewing room>, from previous experience I knew that what i saw would be a lasting impression and was just as sure that the shell inside was not the man i knew. I wanted to remember him as i last saw him...alive and animated...his eyes popping over the top of his glasses at the first sight of something shiney or a clever joke.
.... Next to Manhattan Brewing....all the Dave,s are there and much reuniting,reflection and celebration. My mind is else where and I sense the same in others. Other years and conclaves there was far more...no...there WAS fun. Sure...jokes were told and stories recited but i simply wasn,t there and i sensed the same in everyone. ....the funeral. Got there way too early and saw i was not alone. We all talked and Jim Mosher gave me a candid photo of Rick and I...me at my usual post on one of the work tables with Rick looking over my shoulder. I don,t remember it being taken or even being watched but the image was typical of >mother Hen>, that look of concideration mixed with amusement. Rick Sacks was speaking very powerfully and I lost my composure. Until then my throat ached with the restraint of holding back tears and i went for a walk to a nearby hill. There was a strong wind that day so the air was clear and a hawk was riding the currents above. I was glad to be alone. In the chapel my barely restrained self sat in the back row. It filled quickly and then over-filled. Ray...you were terrific and I,m grateful. Your service truely was a celebration...we all laughed and cried, i managed to stay composed. At the burial site i saw a few leaves of gold floating in the breezes. I felt gilt that us brothers of the brush might have >displaced> Rick,s direct relatives and was relieved to read in an earlier post that they have come to understand our involvment and shared passions. At the restaurant after the services I tried to comfort Lola with David T.s reminder of the last trial of the biblical King David. How at the end of his life he was banished from the kingdom he built and loved by one of his children and the next in line to the throne. It is my hope that these thoughts are-were of comfort.
....at home today... and getting back to life....you know...customers,quotes,bills. Put the mahl stick Rick gave me in a safe place. Will keep it there when not being used. I had it after first using it a number of years ago...so gave it to me. Was fitted up with an antique handle and baby bottle nipple. Has perfect balance and i fell in love with it immediately. Talk about a generous spirit. While going thru the speed-dial on my phone today i came across the Glawson and Evans entry. Knowing that every time I went thru the directory and came across his number there would be that deep sagging feeling, i deleted it. With that is also the realization that there will be no more of his impromptue phone calls which usually arrived long after i,d gone home and usually started as >Hey Sparky...n Fine Gold here, was just calling to.....yup...gonna miss that. Am gonna miss the little things that might appear in an order package...an orange or lemon from one of Lolas trees or just a note with the usual good humour and mention of some new piece of equippment or technique.
Have looked through all the photos so far available of this years Conclave and noticed he was wearing socks. Dave T told me a few years ago that he only wore them if he wasn,t feeling well. Maybe the writing was on the wall or maybe its just good hind sight.
So to conclude this unusual ramble i just want to apologise to those who i was not myself for and thank in advance to those who will and have posted their good thoughts and photos of a great guy.Gotta go...my throat aches.
Harry MalicoatHey old man...your words were eloquent. And don't worry about that "holding back" stuff. And also, none of us were ourselves. My most difficult part of the event was saying good-bye to you and all the others. A thought kept going through my mind - "Could this be the last time I see these guys?".
It was a transforming event. Someone said in an e-mail, "The hugs will be a little longer the next time we are together."
P.S.your words brought back the tears, Doug. You said quite well what I think we were all feeling. I very much hope we will all be together again. Rick would hope to see us carry on what he started...
also apologies for some spelling,gramatical and punctuation errors. Also when i got home my wife had washed or keyboard...the new one is quite different.
Denver Chapter of the Letterheads